The Boogey Man We’re Inviting to Play With Our Kids…
Not to be alarmist for anything, but we all seem to be just letting this ‘thing’, this insidious, damaging thing, into our children’s lives and there doesn’t seem to be much we. can do about it… Or is there?
Phones and screens can’t be that bad can they? The answer is a straight between the eyes, kick in the hoo-haas, YES. It has been proven that screen time and particularly smart screens, rewire children’s brains. For the worse. Now if there was a drink, or a game, or a song that did that, would you let your kid use it? Absolutely you wouldn’t. Would you let your under 5 drink an energy drink with enough caffeine in it to keep Eeyore partying all night? Nope. Of course you wouldn't, and I’ll wager that you aren’t too impressed with screens either, but….. They keep them so quiet… so compliant…. so good…. Until you try to take them away that is.
In this blog I wanted to explore how we can try to adjust how we use screens so that we retain control and no one’s brain get re-wired….
Why Limit Screen Time for Under 10s?
The research is clear: excessive screen time in young children is linked to lower language development, attention difficulties, and delayed social-emotional skills.
What does that look like? Well teachers everywhere are seeing, and data is showing, that children who are regularly given screen time have a smaller vocabulary, are less able to articulate themselves or express their emotions, and find it harder to pay attention to anything which doesn't move or is longer than 20 seconds. And the more screen time they have, the worse the problem is.
A 2019 study in JAMA Pediatrics found that higher screen time at age 2 was associated with poorer performance in developmental screening tests at ages 3 and 5.
The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health recommends avoiding screen time for under 2s and limiting recreational screen use for older children.
Why do those skills matter? Because they are linked to interpersonal relationships, communication and emotional resilience - three fundamentally important parts of being human.
But we also know this: not all screen time is created equal. Passive watching vs. active co-viewing, content that educates vs. overstimulates - these things matter.
However, what screens replace is often even more important.
💬 What Screens Steal (Quietly) From Childhood
When children spend hours each week on tablets or phones, they’re not just watching - they’re missing out.
They’re missing:
Conversations that stretch vocabulary
Unstructured drawing, building, imagining
Problem-solving in real time
Quiet moments that build emotional regulation
Problem solving and having ideas
BEING OUTSIDE!
And crucially, they’re missing you — your voice, your explanations, your connection. There is evidence that - put simply - the more words your child hears before they are 3, the more money they will earn as an adult (now that is hugely oversimplifying it, but is the basic nuts and bolts of it).
So what can we do… The first thing is to KNOW YOUR VALUE. You are so important to your child. What you think, what you like, the football team you cheer on, your food likes and dislikes, your favourite colour, your music taste - before they turn into teens, those things are how they decide what they like and listen to and what makes them feel safe. You can be sure your kid’s teacher knows all about you because they talk about you endlessly. You are their hero. Their sun, their moon, their everything…. So with that in mind, when you aren’t interacting with them they are in deficit. they have a gap. a hole where you would be. You matter more than you will ever know. That’s why parenting is such a huge responsibility and why we must all be the best we can (You’re reading this, so you are already smashing it!).
🚗 The Supermarket & The Car: Hidden Learning Goldmines
Here’s a simple truth: it’s easier to talk with your child than to argue against a screen.
Take the supermarket, for example. It might feel quicker to hand them a phone - but what if you didn’t?
What if you used that time to:
Spot logos (early reading starts here!)
Name vegetables (vocabulary booster!)
Count items or guess prices (maths without a worksheet!)
Explain and model choices (“We buy apples instead of sweets because…” or “These bananas aren’t ripe yet because they’re still green”
Or in the car:
Chat about road signs and traffic lights
Spot colours, animals, or number plates
Ask what they think or how their day went
These little interactions wire the brain for language, reasoning, emotional connection, and even early literacy. Yes, your shopping WILL take longer, but imagine the connection that you will be building by spending that time together.
🖍️ Why Drawing Beats Swiping
Before a child can write, they draw - and they will only draw things that matter to them, so it’s a real process of expression. Drawing builds:
Fine motor control
Storytelling and sequencing
Confidence in expressing ideas
The habit of slowing down and focusing
Give a child paper and crayons, and you give them agency — a tool to process their world, not just absorb it.
Drawing doesn’t need to be Pinterest-perfect. Let it be messy, expressive, open-ended. It’s not a break from learning - it is learning. Even what you would call scribbling is valuable and is called in the trade ‘action drawing’ as it often porters movement rather than an object.
💡 6 Simple Solutions That Really Work
If you're ready to reduce screen use without drama, start here:
Create screen-free zones - like the dinner table, car, or bedroom
Offer choices - “Would you like to help me cook or draw at the table while I finish dinner?”
Rotate real toys - novelty matters; fewer toys, rotated often, spark deeper play
Use timers together - set expectations clearly: “10 more minutes, then we’ll do…” and stick to it!
Be curious, not controlling - ask what they like about their screen games or shows, then build from it. This might give you clues for real games to play
Model boredom - let them see you doing “nothing” sometimes. It normalises downtime.
❤️ You Deserve Ease - But So Does Your Child
Screens are a tempting babysitter. I get it. Parenting is demanding, and sometimes a screen offers a moment of peace.
But if that peace turns into power struggles, tantrums, or disengagement, ask yourself: is this truly easier in the long run?
Children crave connection. They need space to draw, wonder, talk, and feel heard. These moments are easier to give than you might think - and they don’t cost a penny.
🌱 A Final Thought
You don’t need to overhaul your whole routine or throw away every device. Just start noticing where conversations could grow, where creativity could live, and where your voice can be louder than the screen.
You're not just limiting screen time - you're reclaiming presence, connection, and learning that lasts.
If you’d like a printable list of low-screen activities or help building a calm screen routine that works for your family, see the Blossom Top Tips For Guilt Free TV. You can find it here:
